My aunt Denise and her conversations from the edge.

My aunt Denise: “Listen. Listen! Something absolutely weird happened to me! Oh wait. That wasn’t me… it happened to somebody else.”


How much did you pay for that kitchen machine?

About a hundred bucks.

A hundred bucks?! You can buy a vacuum cleaner for a hundred bucks!

Yeah, but we didn’t need a vacuum cleaner. Besides it comes with a lot of extra stuff, funnels and beakers and so on.

What do you need those for if you vacuum the house?

Well uh….yes


My dog keeps on having sex with my knees.


My husband, your uncle, was so mad at me, he locked himself in the upstairs bathroom for an entire week.

Really?! What did he eat?

Toothpaste I guess.

At least he had enough to drink.

Ah yes. I turned off the mains, and then he had to come out.

Why was he mad at you?

I forgot.





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