Don’t read this if you like avocados

On the photo: an avocado, and here comes the reason why I will never eat avocados again. Don’t read on if you want to continue enjoying avocados..


Two weeks ago I was at a party, or more accurately, a “social event” to celebrate something or the other, and in the line at the buffet I started chatting with the girl in front of me. Or woman? She seemed to be one of the younger guests, and with a slightly unkempt hairdo and poor complexion, she could have been post- or delayed puberty – or simply ageless. I soon found out she was one of the organizers of the event. She also stated she had prepared some of the dishes. Without too much enthusiasm; apparently cooking was notably less enjoyable than climbing the Mount Everest.

“Oh look,” I said, “Avocado dip! Delicious! I’ve heard avocado is extremely healthy. Full of useful nutrients, nutrients, nutrients. Vitamins D and K, ethereal oils, unsaturated fats and you can even eat the nut.” The kind of bullshit you chat about at buffets. I smeared a copious amount of avocado on a cracker and inserted it into my mouth. With my mouth full I managed to say “I even heard you can use avocado as a facial mask; extremely healthy for your skin.”
The girl looked at me blankly and said: “Yes I know. Where do you think this guacamole was last night?”

Read more of my work here.

Originally posted 2018-04-05 05:03:00.

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