Top Five Tips for the SMART HOME of the future!

The SMART HOME of the FUTURE – everybody talks about it, but what does it really entail? Here’s your chance to get a close-up view of our SMART HOME, simplifying our life every day.

Below the center piece of our SMART HOME: our SMART SOFA. As a visitor sits down, the sofa automatically determines the weight of that person. Almost as if by magic. This weight information, together with age, sex, home address, and email details, as well as buying and sexual preferences, is automatically not transferred to a server system somewhere in Alaska (not owned by Facebook, Amazon or Google). This facilitates more meaningful and open conversations between host and visitor.

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Our SMART water collecting system. With the help of advanced gravity, rain water collected on the roof is transported into the container. Fully automated, the home owner can lift the lid to check water levels in the tank, and with a special receptacle (green, lower left), water can be distributed amongst the potted plants. (This was not necessary on the day this picture was taken, as the automated system noted sufficient precipitation through visual and haptic detection).

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Our SMART HEATING SYSTEM. If a family member gets cold, a piece of wood is inserted into the receptacle, and lighted with a small Sulphur stick. As it takes long to get a fire going, strain and frustration will sufficiently increase body temperature.

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Below our SMART BURGLARY ALERT SYSTEM. With 24/7 availability, this four-legged burglar alarm immediately emits a loud sound as anyone gets close to the house (30 feet will do, thank you). This includes not only fiends, but any guest or even family member. This alarm is always accompanied by a visual signal (moving tail, tennis ball in mouth) and in some instances amplified by the sound of crashing cutlery or glass, dropped by unsuspecting and shocked witnesses. In contrast to ordinary networked alarm systems, the SMART BURGLAR ALARM of the FUTURE cannot be hacked through cyber-criminal-led brute-force attacks.

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Our SMART DISHWASHER allows the SMART HOME to save on electricity and water (large amounts of valuable resources, energy & water are needed to produce, transport and recycle ordinary dishwashers). Fully automated, the SMART DISHWASHER alerts the family members that it is full to capacity (as on this picture) and after longish debate and negotiation, rinse & dry cycles commence. A pleasant view of the inner court is offered through the kitchen window.

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Impressed? Intrigued? You too can live in the SMART HOME of the FUTURE ! Learn more about the SMART ENTERTAINMENT CENTER here: www.clemenssuter.com/books.

 

More newspudding: Moguls, Magnates and Sexual Harassment

The  unlucky episode around Harvey Weinstein. When it started to develop, my initial reaction was something like: no surprise here, after all, the man is a movie-mogul – and isn’t harassment exactly what moguls are supposed to do? But on second thought I wondered: what is a mogul actually? And is obnoxious behavior a perk of a Mogul’s job, or, even worse, part of the essential job profile? (“Our studio is seeking a motivated, experienced individual to fill the role of Senior Movie Mogul. A proven track record in lewd behavior towards junior employees and subordinates (both sexes) is a requirement. We look forward to your meaningful application. Please provide photographic evidence.“).

Time for some research 

According to the dictionary, a mogul is also defined as a magnate, either a business magnate (a prominent person in a particular industry, kinda what William Randolph Hearst was for newspapers), or a media mogul, a “person who controls, either through personal ownership or a dominant position, any media enterprise”. I like the phrase “who controls […] through personal ownership or a dominant position”: both fuzzy and threatening, like the silhouette of a shark in the murky depths of an ocean.

The phrase Mogul smoothly associates with Kings of Exotic Countries: it has a dark, foreign resonance (how different from “Trump,” a name that sounds like a blown musical instrument commonly used in classical and jazz ensembles). Indeed, the Mughal Empire, from which the word Mogul originates, has its history in India, and was founded in 1526. It was ruled by a Muslim dynasty with Turco-Mongol Chagatai roots from Central Asia. Interestingly, the Mughal Empire did intervene in local societies during most of its existence, but balanced and pacified them through new administrative practices. The rulers of this dynasty had a highly relevant positive influence on science, trade (mostly with Europe), governmental policies, and architecture. Shah Jahan, the fifth emperor, gave the world the beautiful Taj Mahal.

Further (admittedly highly superficial) investigation

This seems to indicate that like in any other dynasty, kings had varied characters and quirks; yet the word “Mogul” seems to refer mostly to the unifying character and resulting vastness of the kingdom, and less to the embarrassing behavior of the rulers.

No mention that a typical King of the Mughal Empire or, for that matter, a Movie Mogul, must embark on lecherous, randy, lewd, degraded, embarrassing, harassing, disgraceful or shameful behavior.

It simply isn’t part of the job description.

More like this here.

“Clemens Suter” | adventure novels on Kobo

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“After Christmas” 9gag movie

Winter. Sky grey with snow coming down in slowmotion big flakes virgin white, going to sleep on your shoulders and cap and touch your lips ever so lightly. Lights behind windows that pull in visitors with urgency to come in from the cold. Comforting. And looking forward to the holiday season even in the absence of religion, with delicious food and lights and people that come to visit. With presents, that remind me of my youth, when for a small boy Christmas still was magical and an anchor in time; like the last day of school or your birthday.