Celebrating the 2010 release of my novel Two Journeys with a limited edition coffee mug.

Posted on by
Reply

52B1F442-9ECB-41FC-A486-B470B6368E13.jpeg

This special commemorative coffee mug can be filled with 350ml of hot coffee, even steaming hot: it is fully temperature resistant. All types are supported: latte, cappuccino, koffie verkeerd or macchiato; its smooth surface even protects against the oxidative effects of Devil’s Brew.

FAQ

How does it work? The mug comes with two holes: one hole (at the top) is used to both add and extract the coffee. The hole on the side is used to insert two fingers so that the mug can be lifted. (Confusing the two may lead to damage and/or injury.)

Can the mug be used for tea? Yes.

How about the artwork? Find the cover of Two Journeys on the front, and a mysterious QR code on the back! Where does it lead, you will wonder? Which miraculous domain of the internet?

Learn more here: http://clemenssuter.com/books

 

The Secret Art of Whistling

Posted on by
Reply

“Stop whistling, Clemens. Only laborers whistle,” my great friend and teacher C used to say. C was Austrian, and like many citizens from that cutlet-shaped country,  leaned towards eccentricity. Highly sympathetic, but thank you for the advice. Meanwhile I am glad I listened to most of C‘s suggestions, but ignored this particular one.

Many years later I had an eye opening experience with music. As a birthday present, my wife gave me a weekend-long harmonica training. A crash course with a professional harmonica teacher, Dale King. At the end of which I walked from the experience with the rewarding conclusion that I would never be able to play ANY musical instrument. Except for a CD player or smartphone, my limbs, fingers and lungs are unable to extract any melodious or rhythmic sound from any instrument. Problem solved.

There is some truth in the statement that everybody can and should sing, but being modest for once, I admit that my singing capabilities are limited.

But I can whistle. The tunes that Yehudi Menuhin squeezed from his Stradivari after long years of tortuous practice, effortlessly leave my two lips with no practice at all.

Whistling – it truly seems to be a secret art. I couldn’t find any article or reference  about the effect of whistling on well-being, physical health, war and piece, the economy or whatsoever. There are no lists of famous Hollywood actors, historical figures or politicians that indulged in this activity.  Did George Washington, Caligula, Margaret Tatcher or Jennifer Anniston ever whistle? The history books remain stumm.

But I LOVE it. In fact, I will now render Puccini’s Madame Butterfly. Beats my vocal version by a length.

Read more here: http://clemenssuter.com/books

mikael-kristenson-27943-unsplash

 

 

 

Debunking the top 10 commonly held misbelieves. There is no…

Posted on by
Reply

Humans tend to be set in their ways. We all have believes that we stick to, no matter what. But did you know…

  • There is no such thing as a free lunch.
  • There is no planet B.
  • There is No Clash Between Al-Quran and Science.
  • There Is No Spoon.
  • There’s no accounting for taste.
  • There is no word for ‘vagina’ in Burma.
  • There is no Dana, only Zuul.
  • There is no life before coffee.
  • There’s No Z in Boise.
  • There Is No Zoo in Zoology.
  • There is no life on the moon.
  • There is no try. Do. Or do not.

Read more here: www.clemenssuter.com/books

As paperback or eBook

Woman reading a scifi adventure book

 

Anyone for a game of Solitaire? Multiplayer Mode On!

Posted on by
Reply
Is Solitaire a game for multiple players? My answer: definitely yes. Playing as a team not only adds a lot of fun. Building on a coach’s expertise greatly intensifies the playing experience, as the below conversation illustrates.

Wife: “What are you playing?”

“A game of solitaire.”

“How does that work?”

“Just watch, it explains itself.”

A minute of silence.

Wife: “Put the red seven on the black eight.”

“Yes, I saw.”

“The black four. On the red five.”

“Thank you, yes.”

“Why do you put that ace at the top?”

“That’s part of the game. At the end you should collect all cards of the same kind in four stacks at the top.”

“Put the black jack on the queen of hearts.”

“I saw that one.”

“You’re not very fast at this. The three. Put the black three on the four of hearts. The three.”

“I saw that one.”

“The seven. You can put the seven on that eight. You’re really taking your time.”

“My hand cannot move as fast as your eyes. There’s a natural delay between the two actions that can’t be overcome.”

“The six! The six of diamonds on the seven of spades. On the seven!”

“Yes, I saw.”

“You’re really taking your time.”

“It isn’t about finishing within a certain time. It’s about finishing at all. It’s more strategic and meditative than competitive.”

“The red nine onto the ten.”

“They are the same color. That is not allowed.”

Some silence. Wife gets up and leaves: “Stupid game.”

———

Find information about my books here or order them directly at amazon (paperback or kindle). Also available on iPhone. 

Playing the nine of hearts!

Solitaire. Probably not a team play

Some weekends I hardly have the energy to drag myself from one coffee house to the next.

Posted on by
Reply

After a full week of work, Saturdays are best spent drinking coffee and watching people walk by. A thoroughly exhausting yet highly rewarding activity.

img 0118

img 0118

image1

I’ve become a bit of a pro at this. I know most of the coffee houses in a 20 mile radius and I must spend hundreds of hours a year sipping the black poisonous liquid, accompanied by a sandwich or a piece of cake. I happen to be a teetolar and thus look for rewards elsewhere.

Single Men – Looking for Wife? Here’s a Top Tip that gets you to the altar in no time.

Posted on by
Reply

Spending some quality time at one of my favorite bistros “Fromagerie La Flamme, ” in Frankfurt, Germany. Inspirational: the proprietor has put up a  stand with shopping bags, which to me look like very crude straw products, but I swear: in the last 30 minutes at least 30 women have picked up these bags and one went ahead and bought two! Fellas, if you are are looking for a spouse: put a chair with a couple of straw shopping bags in front of your apartment – all you have to do is wait and hey presto: within minutes you’ll have a marriage candidate. It’s more effective than one of these so-called “internet dating platforms.”

847E5EFA-8644-468F-B514-B28BC0FF4526

Happy Independence Day & Fourth Of July – Yankee Doodle America – Special #BookOffer #SpecialDeal #Promo

Posted on by
Reply

Only for the week of Independence Day: Clemens P. Suter eBooks from $2.99 for just $0.99. @Smashwords.

Enter the Smashwords store, order the books below, enter the code and download the eBooks to your device: and enjoy great rebates, it is as simple as that.

  • Fields of Fire – Use Code KP48X  
  • Two Journeys – Use Code ZT72Y
  • Celeterra – Use Code DM68Z 

These adventure novels never fail to entertain, well-written fiction that can’t be put down. Great books for a rainy day, to pack in your vacation suitcase or to read on the plane. Comments left by readers at Amazon: “Short message to Roland Emmerich and Quentin Tarantino: this is the story for your next film”   “An excellent title and a worthy read”   “Good reading”

Father and I went down to camp
 Along with Captain Gooding
 And there we saw the men and boys
 As thick as hasty pudding.

Yankee doodle, keep it up
 Yankee doodle dandy
 Mind the music and the step
 And with the girls be handy.

There was Captain Washington
 Upon a slapping stallion
 A-giving orders to his men
 I guess there was a million.

And then the feathers on his hat
 They looked so’ tarnal fin-a
 I wanted pockily to get
 To give to my Jemima.

Old Glory- the Star Springled Banner

Flag of the United States of America

www.clemenssuter.com

My aunt Denise and her conversations from the edge.

Posted on by
Reply

As my cousin John used to say: It is not that our aunt Denise is mad. It’s just that her tongue is connected differently to her brain than with ordinary people. Alas, cousin John is no longer with us – whereas aunt Denise continues to thrive.

Here some of her gems.

*********

My aunt Denise: “Listen. Listen! Something absolutely weird happened to me! Oh wait. That wasn’t me… it happened to somebody else.”

********

How much did you pay for that mixer?

About a hundred bucks.

A hundred bucks?! You can buy a vacuum cleaner for a hundred bucks!

Yeah, but we didn’t need a vacuum cleaner. Besides the mixer came with a lot of extra stuff, funnels and beakers and so on.

What do you need those for if you vacuum the house?

*********

The dog kept on having sex with my knee.

**********

My husband, your uncle, was so mad at me, he locked himself in the upstairs bathroom for an entire week.

Really?! How did he survive?

He ate the toothpaste.

At least he had enough to drink.

I turned off the mains, and that made him come out.

Why was he mad at you?

I forgot.

***********

IMG_2267